


To Love Again

by Jeswii



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 06:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeswii/pseuds/Jeswii
Summary: What if Carter survived and got stranded in 1958 with Ray and Sara instead of Kendra? Sara didn't go back to the League she went to protect her family.





	To Love Again

Having only the money that was in their pockets isn't helpful when they're on the run from an immortal man with a vendetta against one of them. Harmony Falls was a fine place to lay low and luckily pocket change from 2017 is worth a lot more in 1958, enough that they could rent a small apartment.  

 

It was quaint, even without furniture. It might only be a total of three rooms and they're sleeping on blankets but Ray was really trying to see the bright side. Which was fairly hard considering they were stranded in the past with no way of getting back and if Rip was coming back he would have done so by now. But if he gave up now what would be left for him?

He couldn't go into what he loves most-engineering-without completely destroying history. If he failed there'd be nothing for him here. Although he guess that's what Sara thought too when she left for God knows where.

Now he was sitting on the floor, it had been four months since they've been marooned, trying to build some sort of time communicator. If Rip was out there anywhere he'd find him and the rest of the team.

A lot changed in four months but one thing hasn't. He was a teacher at the local university, they had money for food and furniture, Carter was drinking much more than before but he still hadn't gotten the transmitter working.

Right as he might have gotten something the door to the apartment rushed open. He picked up the gantlet from his ATOM suit and charged it up. Only it was just Carter who busted through the door drunk as a skunk. Taking his gantlet off he went back to working on the time communicator, which in turn electrocuted him. 

He knocked the thing away "Shit" His palms were scorched red

Carter laid down on the couch and sipped a beer "Want me to kiss it and make it feel better?"

His face flushed red, either from pain or shock he wasn't sure. "Oh come on Ray how long are we going spend dancing around each other?"

Was this really the best time? No. "You're drunk Carter, just toss me the bandages" He reached to the table behind the couch and chucked the wraps at Ray's head. He worked carefully to wrap his hands but these were second degree burns "What I wouldn't give for painkillers that didn't have opium in them right now"

The wrap slipped and his hand brushed each other. He took a deep breath trying to hold back yelling in pain. Carter pushed himself off the couch and down to the floor. It was rough but he made it and took the bandages from Ray. "I feel like I'm wrapping up an injury every few days"

He scoffed "You only remember every few days"

Carter cleared his throat "That" he pointed to Ray "That is not true, in 4,000 years  I learned how to hold my liquor just fine."

"Is that why you wonder home drunk each night?" Ray asked "I mean come on Carter is this what Kendra would want?"

He glared at Ray who immediately felt a wave of guilt. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"

"No" Carter cut him off "You really shouldn't. You have no idea how I feel"

Don't get angry, Ray told himself but the words fell out of his mouth before his mind caught "I know how it feels to lose the only person you feel is right for you, and we might not have been together for 4,000 years but it still mattered."

Carter stopped wrapping and looked up to Ray "I'm sorry" He said in almost a whisper before he continued wrapping. Once done Carter pulled himself up to the couch and placed his head in his hands "You've spent the last four months supporting me and all I've done to pay you back is come home wasted"

He wasn't wrong but Ray wasn't going to say that "You're grieving Carter. Give yourself time to actually grieve, don't just drink it away"

Carter stood up "I'm going to go shower"

* * *

Ten minutes past when a large crash came from the bathroom. Ray rushed up from the floor and knocked on the door "Carter? Carter are you okay?" 

 

No answer. He pushed the door open and shielded his eyes "Carter?"

The water was still running but he saw red coming out from under the shower door. These were his work clothes, if he got blood on them there's no way it'd come out. 

Taking off his blazer and button down Ray swung open the shower door to see Carter unconscious on the ground with a nasty scrape across his right eyebrow. He turned off the water and carried the Hawk God out of the shower and into the bedroom where on queen bed sat.

He ran to the living room and grabbed the bandages. Rushing back he tried his best to stop the bleeding. "Come on Carter, wake up."

His eyes fluttered open but were clearly disoriented. "Ray? Why's your shirt off?" He looked down to himself "Why am I naked"

Ray was really trying to ignore both those facts at the moment "You fell in the shower and I couldn't have you bleeding on my blazer."

Placing his hand on Carter's wet back he,slowly helped him sit up. He was so close, Carter stopped himself from reaching out and touching a scar on his abdomen. "Hold this and I'll grab you a towel"

Carter held down the bandages on his forehead and watched as Ray walked away. His back was scared too. That's one thing about being reincarnated for thousands of years, no mark stay on his body. No tattoos, no scars, and no piercings.

Ray returned from the closet with a towel and a t shirt. He gave to towel to Carter and put on the shirt. Then he walked over and looked at the cut on his forehead "It's already clotting, might not need stitches but it'll leave a nasty mark"

Only for this lifetime. But Carter couldn't get the words out. He started considering what exactly to do with the rest of this lifetime. Kendra was gone, what was left? He grabbed Ray's wrist, which he was using to apply pressure to his head "Thank you."

Ray chuckled "Any time." He lifted up his other hand "Can you follow my finger for a second with your eyes?"

Back and forth Carter followed. That was a good sign "Are you feeling nauseous at all?" Carter shook his head "That's good, doesn't seem like you have a concussion."

Carter rested his head back taking the cloth from Ray and laid down on the bed "You didn't have to stay"

Ray smirked "And leave an immortal grieving Hawk God who steals from my wallet in 1958? I'm not sure the timeline would survive."

He scratched the back of his neck "You know about that?"

Ray nodded "After living with Snart and Mick for a while you learn to double check. Plus you're not exactly subtle."

"Sorry" he mumbled into his hand as he rubbed his face 

This was progress "It's fine."

Carter reached up and took Ray's hand "No i mean it. Ray you didn't have to stay. No one besides Kendra has stood by me one this." He sloppily interlaced his fingers into Ray's "I don't know how to do this."

He considered pulling his hand away "Do what?"

Carter let out an over exasperated sigh "Damn it Ray are you thick?" He sat back up and kissed Ray's hand 

Ray's face flushed red. Plans to abort rushed through his mind. "You're still drunk"

He shook his head "No, no I'm sobering up" he kissed his hand again "And I'm done being subtle."

This was too much. Ray pulled his hand away "Carter, you just lost Kendra and I don't know if I-"

Carter ran his hand through his hair "We've tried in our past loves to love others, it never fully worked out, but I'm willing to try again."

His heart was pounding "I don't know there's any way for me to be with someone who's not-" he couldn't even say it

"Anna?" Carter finished his sentence. Ray's breath stopped for a second "I'm willing to try if you are."

He wanted to run. Emotions rushed in at once. Would this be cheating? Would it be on Anna? Or Kendra? He's barely even been with men. Carter saw the panic in his eyes and stood up from the bed. The towel that was barely covering him fell to the ground and he kissed Ray lightly.

For a second he wondered if he overstepped. Maybe this was too fast. That was until Ray kissed him back. Fast and light but it was confirmation.

"I'll take that as a yes." Carter asked

Ray shook his head "Don't sound so pleased"

His hand slipped under Ray's shirt "Maybe when you're wearing as much as I am." He gently brushed his hand around Ray as he walked behind him and then pushed him down on the bed.

* * *

Sun shined through the windows with a morning breeze followed the sound of birds chirping. Carter rolled over and felt Ray's arm around him. He brushed a peice of hair out of his face and kissed his nose. 

 

Ray's eyes opened slowly. He smiled at Carter. Hecd never noticed that his eyes were a green grey color until now. "Hey" Ray whispered. "What time is it?"

He went to roll over but Carter grabbed his arm and pulled him back "Doesn't matter" he kissed him and ran his fingers through Ray's hair

Ray pulled away with a smile "I have class at nine babe." He rolled over and saw it was 8:23 on the clock next to their bed. He sat up and started to pull on his clothes.

Carter sighed "Fine, should I start breakfast?"

Ray shook his head "No, no, I don't have time and I have to shower" he got up out of the bed and pulled on his pants

Catter got out of bed with him "How about I join you then?"

He smiled "Just don't fall, your head's almost healed from that debacle"

He rolled his eyes "That was two weeks ago"

* * *

Teaching a class of fifty wasn't where Ray ever saw his life going. Yet that's where he is. And strangely enough he loves it. These college students their entire lives ahead of them and he was helping them get there. 

 

Class was to start in five minutes but he was already excited for another day. He just had to be careful as to teach time appropriate science. 

While organizing his desk before class another teacher entered the room "Raymond"

He glanced up from his desk, it was one if the history teachers, Professor Cindy Keller. "Cindy" he greeted "What can I do for you"

She walked down the large lecture hall and up to his desk "With Halloween coming up some of the faculty is organizing a party and I came to deliver your invitation."

Halloween. Has it really been six months since he arrived here? Two months since he started a life here with Carter "Thank you."

The smaller lady placed the invitation on his desk "There's a plus one if there's anyone you want to bring with you."

That was sweet but also brought up a whole new issue "Thanks again, I'll think about it. Right now I have a class that's about to start"

* * *

 

A sickly sweet smell filled him when Ray entered the house. Brownies. He took in a deep breath enjoying the smell. Carter popped his head out of the kitchen, he was wearing a chocolate covered apron.

 

Ray placed a manilla folder of papers to grade on the table near the door "Ray you have to try these, I think I've finally got brownies down"

The kitchen was a total mess, covered in flour and chocolate powder and dishes. But on the stove set a tray of brownies out to cool. Carter grabbed a knife and cut out a small piece. 

Still warm he set it in Raymond's mouth. The chocolate made his mouth water. The soft sticky texture made it take Ray a second to swallow the brownie "That's amazing."

Carter smiled "They better be, I've spent the past two hours making these." He wiped his dirty hands on his apron before going to wash the mess he made "How was your day?"

"Good" he answered breaking another piece off "I learned that one of my students is Bill Gates' father."

Carter chuckled "Really? Like Microsoft guy?"

"Yeah" Ray began stacking dishes to help out "I also got invited to the staff Halloween party, with a plus one." He pulled the invitation out of pocket

When Carter looked back he wasn't sure if it was worry or excitement in his eyes "Ray" he splashed water on himself while washing. "Stone wall isn't for another 11 years and even after that change took time."

He grabbed the towel and tossed it Carter. Sometimes he really hated the past. "So no party?"

Carter shook his head "You remember I lived this time once. There's a lot more than your life could lose than your job" 

Homophobia in 2016 was tame compared to this time period. So Ray couldn't even defend that he's faced it before but he's faced nothing like what he would here "Alright. How about you just come as my...friend?" Carter raised his brow "Oh, come on Carter it's Halloween."

"I'd love to Ray but I'm not sure it's a good idea."

That was understandable. This is why he wished they were dropped some-when that was more progressive. He can't change that, but he might be able to change his mind "Am I that irresistible that you can't behave yourself in public?"

Carter set the plate down "Someone's cocky tonight."

"Oh you know it"

* * *

Christmas was one of Carter's favorite holidays. Just the spirit that always came with Christmas. The smell of pine trees, cookies, peppermint and freshly fallen snow. The streets were decorated and children were singing christmas songs. 

 

With two bags of groceries in his arm Carter pushed the door to their apartment open. The tree was set up all that was left was putting on the decorations in his bag. Ray was in the kitchen and he just slammed the oven door shut. "Don't look in there!" He yelled

Carter took a deep breath "Is something burning?"

Ray cleared his throat as he reopened the oven "No?" He coughed at the inhalation of smoke "I definitely didn't drop some of the cookies on the bottom of the oven in which they caught fire." He blew in the oven to put of the fire. "Although I suggest you bake from now on"

Placing the bags next to the tree he went into the kitchen "Can't be that bad" he opened the oven and saw took out the tray "The cookies that didn't fall are fine" He looked back to Ray whose eyes were red "Were you crying Raymond?"

Rubbing his eyes he shook his head "No, no I'm alright." Carter tilted his head "Alright, I just miss my family, you know? I mean it's Christmas and I'm normally back at my mom's house at this point fight with Sydney over something dumb form our childhood."

Carter took his hand and together they walked out into the living room "I get that" They sat down together on the couch "Tell me about them. Your family."

Ray sighed "Well there's me and Sydney. Identical twins who couldn't be any more different. He was everything I wasn't and I was everything he wasn't. Where he was social I was awkward, where he was sporty I was a bookworm." He smiled thinking about his brother "We didn't always get along but that's how brothers work."

"That sounds lovely" He got up from the couch "I can't change that situation we're in but we can decorate a tree like a normal couple would"

He laughed "Like we've ever been a normal couple."

"The Hawk God and the billionaire." Carter bumped him on the couch before getting up and opening the bags "No reason we can't decorate a Christmas tree." He pulled a candy cane out of the bag and started opening it. Breaking off a piece he handed it to Ray "Come on it'll be fun"

Chewing on the candy cane he nodded "Alright. Let's do this."

* * *

Two years. 1960 was hard to watch, the beginning of the Civil Rights movement wasn't easy but neither was sitting to the side. He got a job now as a barber just to keep busy. 

 

His first time though Carter participated in a lot of the marches and sit ins. Now, in order to avoid messing with history he's just sitting to the side and waiting for things to turn around for the better. Currently there was just so much awfulness playing on the radio every day.

But somehow Ray still came home with a smile on his face and a basket in hand. "Carter" He said all sing songy

"Love?" 

Ray set the basket down and kicked the door closed. He was really excited, not backing down now, he was going to do it today "Are you busy?"

He turned off the tv, he shouldn't spend all day watching this "Not really, what's up?"

"I have a surprise" he grabbed the basket again "Now let's go"

Carter got up from the couch with a smile on his face "Where are we going?"

"Now that would ruin the surprise."

* * *

The rooftop was the highest in their town. Luckily Ray was good friends with the owner of the building and he agreed to let Ray use it for the night. They've never had a date out somewhere because if they did they'd probably have to leave town. 

 

Laying out a classic red and white checkered blanket ray pulled out a picnic. He even brought champaign. They watched as the sun set on this roof and the fireworks began. Carter had forgotten what today's date was July 4th 1960.

Ray wrapped his arm around his boy friend "Carter, I have been thinking and we've had an amazing two years together and I know with this time period we can never be..official but I was thinking about unofficially being..." He pulled it out of his pocket and got up on to one knee "official"

A ring. A simple golden band. The smile on his face spoke wonders in Ray's heart it was just a matter of saying the word. But in his moments of being completely speechless a strong wind picked and over the building came the Waverider followed by Rip's voice. "Apologies for the wait the ship ran into some problem"  

Throwing his head back Ray sighed "I'm kind of in the middle of something right now."

Carter pressed his lips together to hold back a laugh. Only with the Legends would shit like this happen. Ray looked back to Carter who had the biggest smile on his face. "Of course" He whispered and watched Ray's heart leap out of his chest. Carter got up from the blanket and kissed Ray before taking the ring and put it on.

Hand in hand they got on the waverider. It seemed it had only been two years on their end considering the ship looked completely trashed. From around the corner came Sara, who did look older, she's cut her hair since the last time Ray and Carter had seen her.

Sara clapped her hands together "Alright with the gang all here can we get out of the 50s"

Jax shook his head "Not really, the ship is in too bad of shape to time jump again. We're stuck here until we can fix the ship." He rubbed the back of his neck "lets just hope Chronos doesn't find us while we're making repairs"

Carter slipped his hand out of Ray's "I need a minute"

He wanted to go after Carter but now wasn't the time. He needed a minute to think about this too. Ray left the room and turned the opposite corner from Carter and rested his head against the wall. The Waverider, he was back here. 

A hand rested on his shoulder "You alright loverboy?" It was Snart

"Yeah, yeah" He took a deep breath "I just need to process...this. I gave up getting back here almost a year ago." He ran his fingers through his hair "I-we-started a life"

"Yes, you and the Hawk God" He chuckled "Who would have guessed?"

Footsteps came down the hall "Not me" Carter's voice was enough to bring a smile to his face "Can I talk to Ray alone"

Winking at Ray, Leonard walked off. Ray sighed "Carter, if you want to take the ring off I get it. I mean you didn't know we would ever be back here when you said yes like five minutes ago so it's only fair-"

His rambling was cut off by a kiss "Don't be stupid. I want to marry you Raymond Palmer. These last two years of my life have shown me so much about myself. For the first time in 4000 years I got to choose who I love." He let out a small chuckle "I love you" He looked down to his ring "and now we won't have to wait forty five years to get married"

He smiled "You're amazing."

"So I'm thinking we run home and grab a few things while we're still here" Carter suggested "Like a special gift from our one year anniversary?"

The smile on his face grew. He'd spent hours crafting a metal hawk for Carter on their anniversary. It wasn't an easy thing to hide considering their apartment was so small and metal working wasn't quiet or small.

With everything to figure out after being stranded for two years they were ready to face it, so long as they had each other.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a random idea that popped into my head, but I'm posting at midnight so there might be little mistakes. Feel free to let me know how you feel


End file.
